The resurrection

I turned on the game mid-afternoon, and proudly proclaimed, “Oh! We’re only losing by one run!” Not until later on in the game did I realize how truly pathetic this statement was.

To begin, it appeared the Diet Pepsi Fans of the Game were the only three poor little Twinkies fans in all of Yankee Stadium. However, the result of some great ball playing caused me to look back on the day and consider:

At three o'clock today, the game preparations of Johan Santana were unbeknownst to Jardinero. While one would suspect he was stretching and preparing for the game, JohanTheAllStar was rummaging through his closet. At last, he pulled out his old stringy uniforms and instead of a ball and glove, JohanTheAllStar removed from his closet his old fencing equipment. When he was finally dressed for the game, he looked in the mirror and whispered to himself, "Mussina, it is time for the duel of all duels. It is time for a Yankee beatdown."

Little did Santana know, but the great ball game would be the result of not only outstanding pitching, but dinky piranha action.

…Dick Bremer, amongst his usual chatter, explained it all: "Punto did something great to help the ball club today." Little Sparky redeemed himself after all. Playing second base, Nicky Boy must have felt like the good ol’ utility player he used to be…

…As Jason Kubel hit a 2-run homer, Luis Rodriguez quietly watched from the back of the dugout with a glow in his eyes…

…Pat Neshek came in for the 8th, and all the true Twins fans went to MLB.com and downloaded the "Vote Neshek" wallpaper. The rest of the Twins fans thought, “who is this guy?” At the end of the inning, the whole nation was stunned after Neshek went CRASH. Out. BANG. Out. BOOM. Out. The end…

…When he came up to bat in the 9th, Little L-Rod thought to himself, "I want to do that, too! I want to be a big boy. A hero." Lo and behold, Little L-Rod stunned the entire Yankee Stadium by jutting the ball to as far right field as he could go without it going foul. As he ran the bases, the crowd was silent in awe, except for little L-Rod's childhood playmates cheering him on…

Will the Yankees take the series, you ask?

Dream on, New York.